On Friday we returned to the doctor with Lola. Things were still not normal. She continually had screaming fits almost every day before she would go poo. I decided that we had spent our fair share of time in bathrooms already this summer and I was done. We'd done the whole screaming thing in parks, at other peoples houses, even at a wedding reception. I. was. done. The doctor decided we needed a urine sample, blood work and another xray. Urine sample was surprisingly easy and turned up clear. Despite the difficulties getting a blood sample, it wasn't horribly painful and that came up clear. The xray, well it came up that she is full of poop. Again. or still. The doctor concluded that we hadn't gotten her all emptied out last time we did the whole Gatorade miralax spiel and that we had to do it again. This time keeping her on a clear liquid diet for maximum effect. I nodded agreeably and left the doctor office surprisingly calm. Driving down the road a few feet and I suddenly remembered the last go around with this much miralax. Not fun. But what choice did I have? We went and got the Gatorade and the miralax and hoped for the best. Saturday morning Lola was quite excited about eating Popsicles for breakfast and drinking Gatorade, I think she truly thought I had given up the mothering role completely. The look on her face when I said she could watch Beauty and the Beast AGAIN, was priceless. Not exactly sure what happened, but some time after nap, something clicked. We hadn't had any movement, but Lola decided she was done drinking. Anything. No juice, no water, nothing. She was on to our little scheme, and now becoming one hungry girl. We had gotten about 6 cap fulls of miralax into her, but had 8 more to go and I had no idea how we were going to accomplish it. Thankfully for dinner that night, Greta and I escaped to my brothers house and let Corey deal with it. (Just a note that I did NOT feel guilty about leaving him alone with her, probably because he was going to be gone all Sunday golfing. Or mostly because I was so stressed out from her crankiness and refusal to do anything that I would have rather been eating paint chips than been at home with her.) When I got home after 7, there was still no action. Almost 12 hours, 6 capfuls of miralax and nothing. I started freaking out that she had a blockage or that her colon had stopped functioning altogether. A side note about miralax... 2 capfuls usually has a grown person moving in hours. (Sorry TMI, but I have lost all sensitivity in this subject, as I have discussed the topic with nearly everyone I know). We put Greta to bed and Corey left to run an errand so I decided to put Lola in the bath, thinking maybe we had stressed her out too much and she needed to relax. In and out of the tub we went alternating between her screeching " Owww...I need to go potty!!" and "I don't have to go". It was truly by chance that were in the vicinity of the toilet when she exploded, but I was thankful none the less. It happened once more on the potty and then I dried her off and sent her to bed. At 1:30 am she woke up crying and clutching her tummy, telling me how hungry she was. Not wanting to attempt to feed her Popsicles or jell-o in her bed, I told her she would have to wait until morning. For some reason she agreed and fell back to sleep. (I do not remember this conversation myself, but that is her account). The next morning was the same song and dance minus Corey's help. Went to church with my family where she made it about 6 minutes before heading to the nursery with Kenzie. She was hungry, hurting and tired and church was just a no-go. Afterwards we went to my parents and my sister-in-law had the genius idea to try something Lola had probably never even seen before. An Icee. I think a cup of the stuff has more sugar than she has even seen in a lifetime, but we thought it just might work. We even threw in a little bit of peer pressure and got one for my niece and nephew, hoping she wouldn't get suspicious. We mixed up a couple of caps of miralax in it, and she drank maybe a fourth of it. She preceded to spend the majority of the morning screaming and going back and forth to the bathroom with no results. After a failed attempt at swimming, we gave up and went home for nap. Approximately 45 minutes after falling asleep she exploded again in her bed., Another bath, new sheets and some non-miralax water and she was no longer saying her tummy hurt, just that she was hungry. When Corey came home around 5, I told him I was desperate. I really really wanted to get more miralax in her while her stomach was empty on the clear liquid diet, so we needed her to drink something that she just couldn't resist. Enter Milk. I know... not a great combination and definitely NOT a clear liquid, but the poor girl was starving and on the path to dehydration, so we did it. 2 capfuls in each 8 oz of milk. She downed 2 sippy cups in the time it took me to brush my hair. Then Greta and I left. (See a pattern here?) We headed to the Stingers game while Corey and Lola camped out on the couch with the 3 Toy Story movies. Later he texted me that there hadn't been any action, and should he give her another thing of milk and 2 capfuls? I agreed quickly... what did I care? I was eating a hot dog and watching baseball ;) When we got home after 7 there was still nothing. A storm was approaching so we headed to the basement where she watched more TV. We kept her up until the Tornado warning expired in hopes that we would finally go. Nothing. Finally at 9:30 we put her to bed.
At 3:30am I heard Corey get out of bed. Faintly I could hear Lola crying on the monitor. I thought to myself, if I do not move a single muscle, I can probably, maybe, fall back to sleep. The crying got louder and there was a lot of tussling. Curiosity won out and I stumbled upstairs in a chemically induced sleep haze. I stopped at the bathroom to see Lola standing naked in an empty bathtub literally covered from her hair to her ankles in poo. Corey was in her bedroom piling up her blankets, sheets and pajamas in the laundry basket. Lola started crying and Corey brushed past me to clean her up. I went to get new sheets. After 4 attempts at putting on a new mattress pad and fitted sheet, I was successful. I went back into the bathroom where Corey had started a bath for Lola. I stared at her and she chattered away about how Greta wasn't up yet and how she got to take a bath by herself. I stopped her, telling her that it wasn't morning.. Greta was still sleeping because it was the middle of the night and she was going back to bed after she was cleaned up. She stopped talking and stared at the ceiling for a moment, then started up again telling me how she needed new pajamas and could I get her the soap that smells like strawberries? I don't remember the rest of the exchange, but I do remember eventually crawling back into bed and wondering if I smelled like poo, or if the smell was just stuck in my nostrils? Morning came incredibly quickly and I called the doctors office to let them know that she definitely wasn't completely cleaned out, and there was no way I was continuing this clear liquid diet. They agreed and have her on a cap full of miralax a day, and a follow up appointment for next Monday. The battle continues...
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(PS: Can you believe you just read that many paragraphs about poo?)
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