Things I'd never thought I'd say

So there are a boatload of things that I'd never dreamed I would say, but since becoming a mommy, I may have been heard uttering these phrases :)

*disclaimer: all of these phrases were said either during a) a very sleep deprived moment or b) mommy-brain insanity and should not be held against me in a court of law :)

1) You can't comb mommy's beard

2) This poop just made my day

3) If you barf, you are going in time-out (to the cat)

4) Dr. Suess isn't taking new patients right now

5) Everyone out of the shower right now!!